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FearFear is the emotion human beings feel in anticipation of pain or external threat. When I was younger, I feared my parents might leave me if I misbehaved. I feared that I would fail a quiz and get reprimanded by my parents. I feared riding on an aeroplane, as I did not have the assurance that it will land safely. I feared knives and fire, as my parents had reiterated that these things may harm me. I feared needles and vaccine shots, as I had an unpleasant experience in the clinic. However, on top of all these, I feared three things the most – insects, heights, and dogs.
I remember my mother telling me of my intense fear of bugs and cockroaches. The first time they knew of it was when I was about three years old. They heard me scream loudly that they thought I fell from my crib. When they reached my room, they saw me jumping up and down as if I was in hysterics! Then they saw the bug running towards a hole. Their first instinct, as I was told, was to laugh. However, having realized my fear for the creepy crawling insects, they decided to move my crib away from the hole.
To be honest, my fear had never once disappeared. Until this very day, I still act the same way as I did fifteen years ago. The only thing that has changed is that I weep out loud after the encounter. Pathetic, you might think. My parents think so too. They even calculated the ratio of the weight of the insect to mine which was actually, 1 is to 600. Every time I see an insect, they would remind me of the ratio and how easily I can squish the insect without any effort at all! However, only those who can feel that extreme disgust and probably hatred for the insect would understand what I am feeling. Every time I see those insects, I just have this feeling of running away, yet not knowing where to run. The power it has over me is too great that I lose myself whenever I see them. Funny, is it not?
Whenever I lean on the glass and look down in shopping malls, a surge of paranoia sweeps me off my feet. There is this overpowering force that makes me not want to look down. I guess one of the reasons would probably be gravity, as it tends to pull you down. But in my case, I think it is more of fear of great heights, of falling down, and subsequently, the fear of pain. My case would probably be a milder one although I feel breathless when I am at great heights. Nevertheless, the experience is uncomfortable and I just associate heights with falling, pain, and death.
During my primary school days, I had been chased by a stray dog twice. This experience leads me to associate all dogs with biting and pain. The uneasy feeling that I have is that of being unsure whether the dog would bite you. I guess being educated has its bane. I have heard of people getting rabies infection, or dogs practically ripping your throat. The mental image of those threatens to make me run away from them; hence the dogs running after me. Even in Singapore, where dogs are tamed, I still have this uneasy and apprehensive feeling every time I walk past one.
I do understand that these things I fear might be the outcome of irrational thinking and impulsivity. Nonetheless, these are small yet powerful things that made me who I am today. Scientists say that for me to overcome these fear of insects, heights and stray dogs, I need more exposure to them at longer intervals. However, this is something that I have yet to do.
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I REFER to the commentary, 'Scoring high in grades but not in values' (April 3, 2010).
Elitism is alive even among the youths nowadays in school. Elitism even existed in the secondary school I previously attended. More often than not, the locals would be in one bunch and the foreigners in another. It was rather a heartbreaking situation as part of the reason why foreigners are admitted as early as primary school is for both locals and foreigners to blend in and benefit from the cultural exchange. This would better prepare both locals and foreigners to relate to youths of their age in the international scene and even in their future careers and jobs.
However, this “plan” is clearly not working as the foreigners are often left out during student initiated projects and locals have the inclination to keep to themselves and at times, even discriminate against the foreigners. I am a Filipino and although I know that my country is known to export human labor as domestic workers abroad, I believe that people should be more sensitive and express their opinions with tact. I was 17 that year I entered Secondary 3 in an elite school in Singapore. Someone asked me if the maids were my best friends here in Singapore. It may seem like a simple question but when coupled with a condescending tone, it seems as if the person if insinuating something insulting. Another friend of mine was directly insulted by her own peers with the question “Are you a maid?” just because her skin color was dark. Is this not elitism?
I believe that elitism should definitely not be favored; much less applauded at in any community because this only fosters narrow-mindedness as the youths are not able to see things in different perspectives. These elitists only believe in their claims and would often ignore others’. Elite school students often cannot get past their own comfort zone, their little bubbles. Mingling with students from “neighborhood” schools seems like a big struggle to them. I mean, it is heartwarming how exclusivity breeds school spirit and brings about school pride, the wonderful feeling one has every time one reminisces of his/her younger days in his/her own alma mater. However, it is often a misconception and instead of breeding school spirit, “snobbish-ness”, stereotypes and insensitivity towards others come about. It is not worth being proud of coming from a school with such reputation, is it not?
I shall emphasize the fact that I am not trying to say that all locals in my previous school were elitists, much more with the fact that all Singaporeans are elitists. I just believe than the supposed "plan" of letting the locals and foreigners integrate for all of us to benefit is somehow flawed.
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